Monday, December 7, 2015

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Faith, hope and love

Late last night I was busy thinking and writing my online application for some further university studies. Writing about my life, work and study experience made me to reflect on many things. I kept praying and asking God many questions. Some of the questions had lots of Why in them... Why my life is so complex at times... Why things are not more clear and straight forward... Why we keep facing so many insecurities that can drag us down.... Why I am ill and not able to work....Why I don't have regular, secure work post to return to.... 

In the middle of all those Why's I prayed and asked God to take me and lead me, lead me in, lead me through, lead me forward, lead me through unknown, lead me with Him - to walk upon the waters...  Hillsong song I heard for the first time few weeks ago visiting one church brought me - and keeps bringing to me powerful message... There is so much uknown, yes, there are so many Whys and not many clear and straight forward answers.... But I am not alone. When I get up and go, I find out that Jesus has been already there, my journey is not a lonely one. Life is still complex and complicated. But with Jesus I can walk upon the waters.

Here is my prayer painting from the last night:





Story of Addison's and creativity

On my new blog I share my journey of art, creativity and learning to live with life long Addison's autoimmune Disease (Primary Adrenalin Insufficiency). It is very rare disease and I wish to raise awareness of this ilness. If people are aware of symptoms, they would be able to request assessment rather sooner then later. It was nearly too late for me. I am so thankful to be alive.

I am so thankful to be member of two very helpful self help support groups for people with Addison's. The first group and lots of very helpful information is at

Www.addisons.org.uk

And the other group is a Facebook group, administrated from US. 

Few weeks ago I was invited by US founder of Addison's Facebook group to share my story and art in newly prepared e-book of stories, poems and artwork of people with Addison's Disease from all over the world.

I share the story I wrote for the book on my Addison's and creativity blog. Here is the link:


http://www.creativity-and-addisons.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/story-of-art-creativity-and-addisons.html


Sunday, November 15, 2015

Inspiration today - sermon 15th November 2015

Today I visited a different parish. And God really touched my heart there...
Here is my prayer, painted before service and during first worship songs




And here are my scribbly sermon notes and drawing and painting - inspired by the sermon, by prayers, by worship song Oceans....




Oceans

I heard this song for the first time today during my first visit to a different parish church... 

So real and so true words of worship...

I was praying, singing and crying.... And I painted a prayer too... And will pray and paint more...  

https://youtu.be/DGRz2BJQRXU



I remember the time when I started to scribble my painted prayers during our worship group practice at Lutheran Church at Calgary, Canada, while we listened worship song of Michael W. Smith Ancient Words for the first time... And worship leader asked me if I would be open paint during worship at church... I prayed and said yes. And that yes opened a new door for my creativity... New door for sharing my faith with the congregation...

I have lived through amazing time at Canada, involved in worship, ministry, sharing my faith and gift of creativity in my parish church and daily living my faith in L'Arche community... 

Those 2 years of my life in Canada were so far the most connected time of my visual art creativity in worship, prayer in daily life and inspirational spiritual direction meeting with FCJ sister Pat D. I am still in touch with lots of lovely Calgary people through prayer and through Facebook friendships... I know I am at different stage of life. I am not at Canada. I am not singing at all night prayer meeting at HTB at London... I do miss all those times, but I know I am at different place now...

I feel like I have been living in the middle of huge and dry desert last few years spiritually. But all makes sense. Everything is a part of a bigger picture... So much learning...times of uncertainty and questions...

So much has happened in those last 12 years since I left Canada... My life has changed so much. But what has not changed is who I am in Christ... But so often I felt lost and just not knowing where is God calling me....

But today I feel the new hope and new fire in my heart... God renewing and refreshing my heart and starting to heal lots of broken things.... I pray and I seek to be open....

I pray with the words of song I heard today for the first time:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour.



Amen


Sunday, November 8, 2015

Forgiveness

My next painting would be about forgiveness... Prayer paintings usually come to me before the words, but this time the process is different... Watching Dr Who last night really moved me to see myself and my heart in very new light... I became painfully aware of things in my heart that were not good, God really pointed to me unforgiveness towards few people that has been deeply rooted in my heart for several years... I pray for God's Love, Grace and Mercy to transform me through forgiveness and healing.... 





I actualy began painting this prayer yesterday and felt very puzzled as I did not understand what God was trying to tell me....
 Things becoming clearer and I completed the painting tonight...